Happy Monday! Hi. You’re probably pretending to care about work today so take a break and feast on this little 5 minute read about SPORTS.

Fun Fact:

Here’s what we’ve got for you today:

• Week 15 Recap

• MNF Preview & Player Markets to Watch

• TNF Preview

• What Say You?

• Propellor Sports Company Update

Week 15 Recap

Well, the fantasy football playoffs are likely in full swing for you, dear reader, and this week was a doozy. With a handful of high scoring players like Tyreek Hill, Nico Collins, and Josh Jacobs sitting out, you likely had to scour the thin waivers like a goblin. Here’s hoping you were able to pull it off.

And now, a haiku for each game this week:

Los Angeles Chargers 21, Las Vegas Raiders 63

The Raiders smashed ass, and now the Chargers are dead. So long Coach Staley.

Pittsburgh Steelers 13, Indianapolis Colts 30

Is Mike Tomlin cooked? Many people are saying… Hell of a run, though.

Denver Broncos 17, Detroit Lions 42

Detroit rock city. Coach Campbell got them boys HOT. Scary team come Jan.

Minnesota Vikings 24, Cincinnati Bengals 27

Jake Browning is him? Did not see that one coming. AFC north: hell.

Atlanta Falcons 7, Carolina Panthers 9

If you watched this game, you are a certified freak. Please seek help, sicko.

Houston Texans 19, Tennessee Titans 16

Battle of Oilers. Titans should have won the game. Witching hour struck again.

New York Giants 6, New Orleans Saints 24

Sad Italians. Don’t mess with Tommy Cutlets, or you’ll sleep with fish.

Kansas City Chiefs 27, New England Patriots 17

Taylor Swift yelled FUCK. Toney dropped another pass. Death, taxes, Chiefs win…

New York Jets 0, Miami Dolphins 30

No Hill, no problem. Jets O is absolute trash. Better luck next year.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 34, Green Bay Packers 20

158.3. Baker’s Lambeau pass rating. First to do, ever.

(Y’all, that one took me so long)

Chicago Bears 17, Cleveland Browns 20

A hail mary tried. A hail mary almost caught. A hail mary failed.

Washington Commanders 20, Los Angeles Rams 28

Jacoby Brissett? Second stint with Football Team, results still the same.

Dallas Cowboys 10, Buffalo Bills 31

Skip has seen enough. He trashed another jersey. Cowboys cowboy-ing.

San Francisco 49ers 45, Arizona Cardinals 29

Is Brock MVP? His chances look Purdy good. Please clap for that pun.

Baltimore Ravens 23, Jacksonville Jaguars 7

Lamar is not fair. Dude’s on another level. Baltimore scary.

BOWS

MNF Preview & Player Markets to Watch

Philly heads to Seattle in an NFC clash with Jalen Hurts puking and pooping his pants (allegedly). A true game time decision, Eagles have already clinched a playoff berth, but in a race against the Niners for the top seed. Seattle is looking to bounce back after last week’s drubbing by said Niners with Geno also questionable. Could be a defensive battle tonight, so with that in mind:

D’Andre Swift OVER 14.5 Rushing Attempts

Even if Hurts plays, it’s hard to imagine they don’t try to run the ball right down Seattle’s 5th most favorable defense for running backs.

Tyler Lockett OVER 3.5 Receptions

Drew Lock certainly likes to sling it and Philly’s secondary is susceptible against fast, shifty WR’s like Lockett. Plus, no Darius Slay.

DeVonta Smith UNDER 56.5 Receiving Yards

Purely a game-script play. It feels like if any WR is going to get his tonight, it’ll be AJ Brown.

TNF Preview

We’re morally obligated to peek at the upcoming TNF game because, as mentioned before, it’s the fantasy playoffs and you need any and every edge. The Saints head to LA to face the Rams with plenty of impact players on both sides. “Derek Carr looks like he may have figured it out”… how many times have you heard that one? Never the less, Chris Olave didn’t play yesterday and didn’t practice today, so his status remains unclear, paving the way for Alvin Kamara to either help or hurt your team in a big way. For the Rams, Cooper Kupp appears back to his old self with back-to-back monster games.

Good luck, dear reader.

What Say You?

Propellor Sports Company Update

We’re testing the platform internally as I write this. You will be playing on it in no time!